Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
