I want to walk on stilts...naked
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
