you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
