Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
