In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
