i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
did you just send me my own nude
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
