and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
