Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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