I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
