So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
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Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
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I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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