Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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