Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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