"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
