I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
