his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
