i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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