Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
