She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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