Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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