Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
