Dual....:-)
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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