Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
