I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
