Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
