If i come over, it means nothing
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I need to align my fucking chakras
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
