I wanna bring you to show and tell
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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