Having a random hookup so left but love u
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
