Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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