yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
