covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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