Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
