That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
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