How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
