I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just google imaged poop.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
