i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
