Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I could fuck to npr.
We need to get me chipped asap
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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