I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
