I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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