can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
