do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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