The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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