Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
