i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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