I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
