Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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