i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
