he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
