I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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