Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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