his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
