Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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