I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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