When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
