Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
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I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
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I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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