haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
