so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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