I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
