Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
