why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize