are you still at the devil's house?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
